A Baby, A Door and Two Super-Dads
by CynicalModerate
Summary: Their greatest challenge yet is a door when their baby son locks himself in his room. Steve is panics and somehow Tony is expected to be an adult in all this. The kid will never make it to 16. (Steve/Tony)


**A/N:**_ 'tis been a long time since I have submitted a work for the enjoyment of others. This was actually written for a beloved lady-friend of mine, **Scoobert0**. I've never written an Avenger fic, let alone a Stony pairing, so...yeah. New territory. I find this to be touching and amusing, and hopefully you all will find it so as well. And if you don't...I don't care._

_Enjoy, R/R, ignore inconsistencies and gratuitous leaps from canon. It's fanfiction, I do my best, dammit!_

* * *

It is one of those bizarre moments of "Hi, I'm important business Tony" he is experiencing when that rarity is shattered by the chaos that is family.

_'Wait...what was I doing?'_ is the only coherent thought Tony manages to form as Pepper pushes him out of...wherever he was - he thinks there were old men in suits, but it is gone in an instant - and into the hall, shoving a phone to his ear.

"I'm doing very important business," he protests, pointing vaguely over his shoulder to the room he just occupied.

"It's Steve," says Pepper, pressing the phone to his ear. "You can pretend to listen to them later."

Tony makes a face and takes the phone, turning away from her and sighing. "What is it, Rogers? I'm pretending to do very important business."

There is a frantic response on the other line that sets Tony into a mild panic, hunching over and plugging his other ear as he tries to decipher the string of babble issuing from the phone. "Wait, what? Ste...Steve, calm down. St-Steve? Steve? Steve. _Steve._" He looks back at Pepper and shrugs, pointing to the phone. "I can't understand him - _I can't understand you, Steve_. For God's sake - _STEVE_."

"_...and the door is locked!_" comes the tail-end of Steve's tirade.

"What is locked? Can you calm down for five seconds and tell me what is going on?" snaps Tony, irritated and worried.

_"Peter locked himself in his room!"_ says Steve in a practical wail. Tony hears the unmistakable sound of a doorknob jiggling followed by a distant "Unlock the door, sweetie!"

"What do you mean 'Peter's locked himself in his room'?" snaps Tony again, walking briskly down the hall with Pepper on his heel. "And stop freaking out."

_"I'm not freaking out!" _snaps Steve, jiggling the doorknob again_. "I was making lunch and he wandered back into his room. When I went back to get him I found the door closed and locked! Now I can't get him to unlock it!"_

"He's barely two, Steve," says Tony, turning into his office and walking over to his computer. Fingers tap several keys on the keyboard frantically. "I doubt he understands what is going on. Calm down before you scare him." The screen lights up with an image of his home hallway, Steve crouched down in front of the door with his right cheek pressed against the door. Tony falls silent a moment to admire his partner's ass from this angle, head tilting to the side appreciatively before Pepper smacks the back of his head and juts a finger at the phone.

"Focus."

"Steve, just break down the door," says Tony, rubbing his head.

_"I think he's playing on the other side of it! I'm afraid I'll hurt him."_

Tony taps a few more keys and the camera changes to the other side of the door where a little brown headed baby in blue suspenders and a red t-shirt is playing with a Captain America action figure. "Yeah, I see him. You're right; he's just on the other side of the door." Tony frowns as he sees the Iron Man figure way on the other side of the room.

There is silence on the other line for a moment, then_ "...what do you mean, you 'see him'?"_

Tony closes his eyes and makes a face, silently cursing himself. "Umm, yeah - there are cameras in the house."

Another moment of silence, then _"...how many?"_

"One in every room," says Tony, turning to Pepper and pointing to the boy playing. "He always plays with the Captain toy. Why doesn't he play with The Iron Man one?"

_"Why are there cameras in the house, Tony?" _is Steve's slightly angry response.

"Because he loves Steve more than you," says Pepper without missing a beat, "Tony, focus!"

"Oh, you know me, Steve; I like to keep the marriage fresh," Tony says distantly, making a mocking laugh face at Pepper.

"Isn't there a key?" asks Pepper.

"Isn't there a key?" repeats Tony.

_"There is no key, Tony," _snaps Steve. _"Why are there cameras in the house?"_

Tony taps the backspace key to the hall, where Steve's irritated face looks around the corners of the hallway for a camera. "There is no key," he says to Pepper, then to Steve, "Of course there is no key, Steve; you wanted a house without all the "gizmos and gadgets" as you put it. But you had to have the refrigerator that dispenses hot and cold water, didn't you? Upper left corner, blondie."

Steve's eyes find the tiny camera and he moves forward, standing on his toes and standing so close to the camera Steve's nose and one eye fills the screen.

"Whoa!" is Pepper and Tony's response.

_"If we had gone with your choice and raised him in the tower he would be dangling off a ledge or playing with lasers! Why are there cameras in my house?"_

Tony smirks at Steve though knowing full well his partner can't see it. "But locking himself in his room where we can't get to him is so better, right? Can you back up? I only like looking at you this close when we are having sex."

A blush appears on Steve's face and he steps back, glaring at the camera. _"You have to answer me sometime, Tony,"_ growls Steve.

"Guys," says Pepper, exasperated, "Peter? Locked in his room? A baby? Focus. Has he tried the credit card thing?"

"Steve, please, focus - you locked our son in his room. That takes precedent over your Candid-Camera moment."

_"What's Candid-Camera?" _asks Steve irritably, turning back and squatting down by the door. _"And I didn't lock him in there!"_

"Look, take your credit card out and slide it down between the door and the jamb," says Tony, ignoring Steve's question. "Try and use it to undo the latch."

Pepper and Tony watch as Steve takes out his wallet from his back pocket - Tony's eyes lingering once again on Steve's ass - and pull out his credit card to follow Tony's instructions. Steve slides the card once, twice, three times with no success, and on the fourth he freezes. Tony wrinkles his brow and taps the keyboard a few times, unsure if the image is frozen or not.

_"Tony?" _comes Steve's meek voice.

"Steve?"

_"I lost the card. It slipped through to the other side."_

Tony turns to Pepper with an exasperated face. "He dropped the card on the other side," he says harshly, tapping a few keys to change the view to Peter's room. They watch as baby Peter turns and looks at the little card, picks it up and begins playing with it along with the action figure. "Yup, Peter has your card now, Steve," says Tony dully. "I'm on my way home - since he has the card and it's lunch time, why don't you slip him the phone under the door so he can order take-out?" He ends the call before Steve can reply and moves around the desk.

"Tony, be nice," says Pepper warningly. "It's not his fault - these things happen with kids."

"Can you stay there and watch Peter - warn us if something should happen?" asks Tony, pressing a button and opening the doors to his private elevator. He backs in a gives a small bow of thanks. "Told you I shouldn't procreate."

"That's why you adopted," says Pepper, sitting down behind the desk without looking at him.

"Yeah, dodged a bullet there!" shouts Tony as the doors close.

* * *

Steve hurries into the garage when he hears loud crashing and shuffling, ready to fight whoever has decided to break into his home. When he sees Tony tossing a box over his shoulder and beginning rifling through another box, Steve contemplates beating up his husband anyway.

"What are you doing?" he asks, folding his arms over his chest.

Not finding what he's looking for, Tony tosses that box aside and looks up wildly at Steve. "Where are my tools?"

"In one of those boxes," says Steve coolly, nodding a head toward the mountain that fills the garage. Three months in and they still haven't completely unpacked. "I've already looked, I couldn't find them."

"This place is too small!" complains Tony, wading through the bigger mess he's made and climbing the steps into the house, brushing past Steve. "But you had to have the quaint little house with the white picket fence!"

Steve frowns and opens his mouth to say something, but Tony jumps back and points a finger at him. "We are not getting a dog!" he says, then hurries into the house. Steve just continues to frown and follows him.

In the hallway, Tony crouches down by the door and knocks lightly. "Peter? It's Daddy-"

"Papa," corrects Steve.

The smaller man slowly turns his head to his partner. "What?"

Steve kneels down beside Tony and points to him. "You're Papa, I'm Daddy. We'll confuse him if we're both 'Daddy'."

"Confuse him?" repeats Tony slowly, blinking a few times. "Steve, his parents are two _men_. One, a 1940s Super-Soldier whose been frozen in ice for decades, the other a functioning alcoholic multi-billionaire with a reactor in his chest - _both_ of whom fly around and save the world. I think worries about him being confused were thrown out the window way before the issue who's called 'daddy'."

Steve sets his jaw and gives his husband an angry glare. "Shut up and open the door, _Papa._"

"With pleasure, _Daddy_," replies Tony with a mirrored glare. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a credit card and tries the same technique Steve did earlier. The two sit in silence, Tony focusing angrily on the door while Steve waits anxiously, the muffled sounds of Peter playing obliviously a pleasant background noise. Minutes pass before either one breaks the silence, Steve's anger dissipated while his husband's remained.

"Did you even want a kid, Tony?" asks Steve quietly.

Tony heaves a heavy sigh, ceasing his attempt to unlock the door and looking at Steve. "Really? Now? You want to have this talk now?"

"Well, we're not going anywhere..."

"Yes, Steve, okay? I wanted a kid." Tony resumes his work, focusing intently on the door. "You wanted a kid, we got the kid. Just like you wanted this house, we got the house. One big happy family."

"There is a difference between wanting a kid and wanting your husband-"

"_Partner_," interrupts Tony.

Steve sighs. "-wanting your partner to be happy." He turns and leans his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "You didn't want any of this, did you? You're always putting up walls between anything personal. I wanted a kid, not we. I wanted this house, you didn't. I stayed at home with Peter-"

"You wanted to stay at home with him," interrupts Tony gruffly, a barely perceptible wounded note in his tone.

"You didn't put up much of a fight," Steve says, turning to look at his husband. "Half the time I think you view this whole thing as something to 'get through' rather than actually enjoying it."

Tony drops his hands down and his head connects with the door with a loud 'thunk', eyes downcast. "I'm sorry I'm not into the touchy-feely crap," he says lowly. "And I'm sorry you think I treat you and Peter like such a chore. I thought everything I've done showed you how much I care."

"I don't think you treat us like a chore."

"Really? 'Something to 'get through'? Real nice, Steve."

"Well, what am I supposed to think? Always 'partner' instead of 'husband'! Always "You had to have" or "You wanted", like you are trying to shift the blame of something off on me!" Steve's tone is frantic and hurt, anger creeping into the edges from a long time of repression.

Tony lifts his head up quickly, brow wrinkled in anger. "I'm sorry, okay?" he shouts, hands held out to the side. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you happy?"

"No!" Steve shouts back.

"Then I don't know what to do! I don't know how to show you I care!" Wounded anger bleeds from his words, his face a subtle reflection. "I wanted Peter, okay? Not just because you wanted him but because I knew you'd make a good dad, and if anyone was going to bring out such a quality in me it would be you! I moved us out here because you were right - the tower wasn't the best place t raise a baby! I let you stay home with him because between the two of us, you're clearly the more responsible parent - the one I'd rather Peter turn out like than me! And I installed the damn cameras because every moment I'm away from the both of you my stomach is a giant knot of anxiety, always worried something has happened to the both of you! And when I sit behind my desk and watch the both of you playing or eating or sleeping, I'm sick because I don't get to be there too!"

Tony ends his tirade and turns back to the door, swiping the card along the crack. "So there," he says, clearing his throat and shrugging. "Oh, and 'fuck you', Rogers."

Steve just stares at his husband for long while after that, taking in the sudden explosion of emotion from Tony and trying to process his own from the revelation. It was only the third time in their lives together Tony had been so raw and open with how he felt. Every time Steve thought Tony was pulling away and regretting everything they were, he was quickly reminded that wasn't the case at all. The man was just trying to protect the things and people he cared about most the only way he knew how: through distance. Always trying to keep that seemingly impossible position of intimacy and detachment - something Steve could never master or recognize until it was forced straight in his face in moments like this.

"...Tony-"

"We're just going to have to knock down the door," exclaims Tony, interrupting Steve before he can finish his thought. He stands up and backs away, Steve following him with concern and curiosity.

"What about Peter?" asks Steve. "Isn't he right behind the door?"

Tony holds up a finger and takes out his phone, dialing with the press of a button without looking at Steve. "Pepper? Yeah, how close is Peter to the door?"

_"I'd guess about foot, foot and half."_

He repeats the guess to Steve and ends the call. "We'll just be careful," he says with a shrug, moving forward and grabbing the doorknob, his shoulder braced against the door itself.

"I'll just..." Steve maneuver himself behind Tony, knee against the door and hands near the top to catch it as soon as it comes loose. "Petey?" Steve calls through the door.

"Don't call him that," said Tony quickly, throwing a look over his shoulder. "We didn't name him "Petey". We didn't name him "Petey" - or "Pete", if you are thinking of throwing that one out. His name is Peter. How would you like it if I called you "Stevie"? You'd hate it, wouldn't you? You know why? Because all "Stevies" are jackasses - except Stevie Wonder and Stevie Nicks, those are the only exceptions."

"Okay!" exclaims Steve. "Peter? Stay where you are - Daddy and Papa are going to break down the door."

Tony mutters something and shakes his head. "Okay, ready?"

Steve nods. "Ready."

"One. Two. THREE!"

A thud as they throw their weight against the door, the wood shuddering and a gap of light briefly appearing before it is snuffed out. Both Steve and Tony make worried faces, then nod and count again. The sound of wood splintering along with the thud follows the second time, Steve quickly grabbing the top of the door and maneuvering it off to the side before it falls. But it is Tony who sneaks through the gap and collects their son, holding him close and examining him closely.

"Daddy!" grins Peter, then watches curiously as Tony checks him, tiny chubby face wrinkled.

"Hey, buddy, are you alright? You're not getting your door back until you are 16," says Tony with clear relief in his voice, hugging the boy close and kissing his head. "Smart boy, figuring out how things work. Too smart - you take too much after me. What are you playing with?"

Peter shows him the Captain America toy. "Oh, that's cool!" Tony says in the feigned enthusiasm of a parent, gently taking the toy from boy. "But you know what is cooler?" He bends down and takes up The Iron Man figure, discreetly tossing the other behind his back. "IRON MAN! He flies - so much cooler than Captain America."

Steve holds back his own instinct to rush to Peter and watches Tony with thier son. He's feels incredibly bad, coupled with the revelation of emotion he wonders how for a moment he could have doubted Tony. But the distance always fooled him - somehow he always knew Tony loved them both more than himself, which was quite a feat in itself, but the distance made him doubt and wonder. As Tony continues to fuss over Peter, the tiny boy clearly loving the attention, Steve comes up behind them both, arms wrapping around Tony's waist.

Tony tenses, hating this position because it makes him feel small and also still being somewhat hurt by Steve's accusations. Peter grins again and throws a hand at Steve.

"Daddy!"

"Clearly we don't have to worry," says Tony gruffly, "we're both 'Daddy'."

Steve rests his chin on Tony's shoulder, Peter grabbing his nose and squeezing. "It's going to be confusing for us," he says with a smile. "The kid okay?"

"Yup," says Tony, again the distance coming up. He turns and hands the boy over to Steve, straightening his jacket and making to leave. "Since everything is all good now, I'll just-"

Steve grabs Tony around the waist and pulls him close, tucking his head over the smaller man's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Tony," he says lowly, his tone sincere and humble. "I didn't...I know you care. I know even better now...I just..."

Tony clears his throat and slowly relaxes, arms coming around his partner and squeezing lightly. "I...know I'm not the easiest guy to read, okay?" His tone is hesitant clearly uncomfortable. "But I do love you. Both of you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for either of you."

"Stop going away," says Steve, pulling back a little. "We both know you don't have to work. Comfortable isn't even how I would begin to describe us financially."

Tony just looks at him carefully, weighing his options. "It's not about money," he says slowly. "It's...doing stuff. Things. Science-y things. I can't do science-y things here. And yes, 'science-y' is a real technical term. It refers to all things involving science."

"Then build a lab here."

"What about Peter? He could get hurt."

"That'll be the one place in this house we allow locks from now on," says Steve. "Tony, you being around Peter isn't a bad thing, whatever you think. We're raising him together - I want him to experience the best of you. He's needs both his daddies."

Tony looks from Steve to Peter carefully, cautiously. "What if I screw him up?" he asks, one hand tickling the boy's feet absentmindedly.

"Then I'll fix him," presses Steve, Peter giggling in his ear. "This is a marriage, Tony. A partnership."

"There is a reason I voted against marriage," he says gruffly. "It's unnatural - we should just have business contracts."

"Which is why we wrote up a contract, if you remember."

"You insisted we put 'marriage' in the wording. And that we wear rings."

"Can we not get into this again?" says Steve wearily. "I want you here, Tony. _We _want you here." Moving too quick for Tony to pull back, Steve captures his mouth in a kiss and holds the man close, pouring every bit of sincerity and love he can into the act. Tony takes a moment to reciprocate, but slowly gives in with a low grunt.

"Fine," he says, breaking the kiss. "I'll work from home. _This_ small, tiny home." Taking out his cell, he speed-dials Pepper and looks to the camera. "I know you're watching, pervert," he says. "I'm pretending to work from home from now on. You can be CEO without me, right? Good, awesome, let's do lunch."

He hangs up quickly and looks at Steve, raising his eyebrows at the satisfied grin on his..._husband's_ face. "Don't get cocky, thinking you've won something. I've also used the cameras to record us having sex."

* * *

**A/N: **_Abrupt end, I know. But I felt the ending was apt._


End file.
